My Best Friend
by Hopeful Writer
Summary: Remus thinks about his best friend... Peter.


Disclaimer: *waves hand* And that which is mine, disappear!  *nothing disappears*  And there, ladies and gentlemen, is proof that I. Own. Nothing.

A/N – This was an idea that came to me on the bus ride to school.  Kinda interesting, kinda sad, a little rant-y.  Short but sweet.  This is a kind of mini-rant on Remus's behalf on Peter Pettigrew, who was his best friend.

**__**

**_MY BEST FRIEND_**

By: Hopeful Writer

            He was my best friend.  I almost didn't have a choice.  Since day one, James and Sirius were inseparable.  I was their friend, but they were the best of friends.  I considered myself a tagalong.  It would be years before I realized they could have a third best friend.

            James and Sirius were the troublemakers.  Peter was quiet, too shy to really do any damage.  Very conscientious of the rules and all.  Perhaps that's why we hit it off so well.  We kept an eye on James and Sirius.  Together, we made up the Marauders.

            It was always like that, Sirius and James, me and Peter.  We accepted that.  We were all best friends, but, when I needed a shoulder to cry on, Peter was the one.  Peter knew about my lycanthropy long before James and Sirius figured anything out.  And, much as we all say differently, it was really Peter's idea to become Animagi.

            That was the four of us: Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail.  When you ask about the graduating class of '76, the first name on everyone's mind is James Potter.  Sirius Black.  Lily Evans.  The brilliant and the brave.  The beautiful.  I'm sure my name comes up once in a while.  Remus Lupin, that weird kid who was always sick.  The smart one.  The kind of quiet guy.  But until his supposed death, no one ever talked about Wormtail.  And for the longest time, I thought he was okay with that.

            I should have figured it out; I see all the clues in retrospect.  He was never quite happy, Peter.  He always had a lot of nervous energy.  We all thought that was part of his character.  I never missed the disappointment in his eyes when Prongs and Padfoot would get a spell right, or brew the perfect potion, and he, Peter, would be stuck cleaning another mess.  

            Peter was a brilliant chessman.  And maybe that, more than anything else, was a clue I missed.  He spent hours with his set, constantly working and re-working plays.  Sirius and James used to tease him, tell him he would end up marrying that chess set if he wasn't careful.  He never said anything, but their words hurt him.  I could see it in the slump of his shoulders and the increased furrow in his brow.

            He used to kick my arse every time we played.  We would laugh about the games for hours, making bets on how quickly he could beat me.  I think his record was three moves.

            He only had two girlfriends during his time at Hogwarts.  The second was a girl named Marcia Abyssman.  She was a real catch – blonde hair, blue eyed, with an almost ethereal quality to her.  They had a relationship from fifth year to seventh, but they broke up right before graduation.  He broke up with her, and Sirius and James were merciless about it.

_            "You broke up with Marcia?  Why the bloody hell would you do a fool thing like that?" James demanded, looking incredulous._

_            "James..." Lily chided gently._

_            Sirius chortled.  "Wormtail, you've finally lost it, mate.  She was the best thing that ever happened to you."_

_            Peter's eyes darkened dangerously.  "I just... didn't want to be in a relationship with her anymore.  I'm going for training for work in another couple of months, and I don't want her to be tied to me... or the other way around."_

_            Sirius and James grinned at each other, still immature little boys sometimes.  "You haven't told us what this mystery job of yours is," James prodded.  "Are you going to be an Unspeakable?"_

_            "I can't tell you," Peter replied automatically.  _

            That should have been another major clue, but we never assumed Peter would join up with You-Know-Who.  It was so farfetched, especially with James and Sirius becoming Aurors for the sole purpose of tracking down and defeating He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

            Peter's first girlfriend was none other than the great Lily Evans.  Sirius and James never even knew they dated in fourth year, and she broke up with him for Prongs.  It devastated Peter.  

            They had a quiet relationship, for we were only fourteen and girls were still very much "icky" (although I admit to having changed my mind during that time as well).  I think I was the only one who knew about it besides Lily and Peter.  They would spend time together in Hogsmeade (this was perfectly acceptable by the unwritten code of conduct between boys and girls at our age, though all James and Sirius knew was that Peter wasn't with us), and I'm sure they spent several nights in deserted classrooms snogging.

            I think that was when Peter first started entertaining ideas about becoming a Death Eater.  It was the perfect revenge on James and Lily, especially when Dumbledore told James he was a target.  The secret-keeper thing was a mistake.  A mistake that cost James and Lily their lives, and cost Harry his parents.

            I thought Sirius was their secret-keeper until Harry's third year.  I thought Sirius killed Peter.  I couldn't imagine what would turn Sirius to betraying his best friend.  I knew I would never have done that to Peter.  But after finding out about Peter... I was filled with more grief than I knew how to deal with.

            I had always promised myself that I would look after Harry if anything happened to his parents.  But I couldn't.  The sheer torment that came from losing my best friend was far too much for me.  I ran away and cut ties with everything I had ever known at Hogwarts.  I secluded myself, even stopped taking the Wolfsbane potion for some time.

            Eventually Dumbledore located me; the man has a way of finding anybody.  He offered me the job, where I met up with Harry and Sirius again.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

            I can't pinpoint the exact point in Peter's life where he made the firm decision to turn to You-Know-Who.  I'm not sure why he stopped trusting me, or why he felt it necessary to exact revenge upon James and Lily in the way he did.  I do know that I still miss him terribly.  I thought that if I ever got to speak to him again, I would win him back.  

            I came face to face with my best friend yesterday.  For a moment he looked frozen.  I wanted to talk to him, to convince him that I didn't hate him.  That I wouldn't let Sirius kill him.  I had so much I wanted to say.

            But Wormtail only had a little.  "_Avada__ Kedavra_."

A/N – Erm... that... wasn't supposed to happen.  I swear.  Well, uh... happy Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Year, I suppose.

"Treat your friend as if he might become your enemy." – Publilius Syrus


End file.
